so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
