Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
