He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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