you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
