I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
