if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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