what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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