Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
