And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
