You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
