idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My cat gives me a boner
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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