nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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