i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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