Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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