Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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