carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
