I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
