check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
