Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
