when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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