Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
