I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize