Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
