sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
