There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
