using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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