Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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