Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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