There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
