Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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