i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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