They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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