people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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