I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
