I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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