But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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