Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.