Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
