Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
