i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
