Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
