I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
