I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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