wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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