I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize