a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
