and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
