She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
