sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
