So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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