I think scott just propositioned me for sex
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
