At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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