Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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