can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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