Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
