And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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