fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
