One girl and one boy is just not enough.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
