we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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