saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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